Are You Afraid of Being Approached?
An absurd question right? Why would any woman who is single and ready to mingle remotely be afraid to have a man approach her? Silly though it may be, it is not unusual – even to the person who finds this question to be absurd. Hair was done, outfit right, and makeup on point, you are ready to go out with your girls with the hopes of meeting someone new. At the end of the night, although you end up enjoying yourself, the goal of meeting someone new was not attained. You may conclude that the men were intimidated by your beauty, but have you ever considered that you may be the reason why they didn’t approach you?
Let’s recap the night. You get to the venue and instead of giving a man a chance to talk to you alone, you stay with your girls the whole night. It’s comfortable to be around your girls. You go in pairs to get refreshments or to freshen up in the bathroom. Then when you are left alone at the table due to being on purse duty, you quickly pull out your phone and play around with it. Instead of taking the opportunity to catch the gaze of a male, you bury your head in your phone, missing out on another opportunity to be approached. As you say to yourself, “What’s taking my friends so long to come back?” You look up from your phone to see where they are and you catch the eye of a man. Instead of giving him an inviting smile, you quickly avert your gaze and return to looking at your phone. Why is that? I can tell you why. It’s fear. Whatever your fear is, whether it’s the fear of someone wondering if you are a loner or the fear of looking awkward by yourself, you miss out on the opportunity to be approached. In order to be approachable, you need to leave space around you. A man doesn’t want to approach you with all your girls around you. It’s risky enough to be rejected by one person much less risk being rejected by a group. You also have to have your arms open. This refers to uncrossing your arms but also includes the removal of your cell phone so that you are not distracted. Eye contact with a smile is two other things that you can do be approachable as well.
Sometimes it’s scary to do things alone or to look into someone’s eyes and be the one to smile first, but these are fears that you need to overcome in order to become approachable. So the next time you leave an event and wonder why you were not approached, don’t blame the men in attendance, instead, re-evaluate your body language and behaviour that night. See whether or not you were the reason you didn’t meet someone new. To get more tips on how to be approachable or on how to approach others, please check out www.approach2link.com or follow Approach2Link on twitter @approach2link